someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
