proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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