you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
