drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
