And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's the barista slut.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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