People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The power of my boobs compel you
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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