if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His hands were made for my vagina.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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