Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
