I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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