i just had sex bonerless
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
