White coat. Heels.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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