so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
