My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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