Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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