I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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