Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize