I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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