And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
