me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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