dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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