I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
