Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize