You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
