is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
