i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
