What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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