I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
