Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
