1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
