Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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