Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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