Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
