I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
