idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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