just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
