First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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