I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
