I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
