When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
