you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
