Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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