I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Small penises have feelings too.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
