Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
