Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize