he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Acid is not a monday night drug
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
