She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
4 words: hood of his car
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
