see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
