I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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