I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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