Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
