my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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