also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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