Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize