I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
