You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
