Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize