loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize